_about the character
_Stefanie Schneider


"uninhibited, happy, free / kooky, crazy, fun / an appreciator of life, loves and lives / bears scars of victimhood / self-inflicting if necessary / a babe who doesn't know it / loves tragedy / spontaneous, boundless fire / sweet as pie and a wolverine temper / oblivious to the obvious / disarming and meaningful / the most beautiful person I've ever met" (lance waterman)

One night, a PANICKED GERMAN FEMALE CALLER captivates the community with a painful story about a sexy "Smoke Jumper" (a mysterious and super real alpha male). Everybody in town is listening to the program and nobody is quite sure what to say.

She tries to achieve happiness through true love. She believes in open relationships and that one can love more than one person at once, because there is an unlimited amount of love flowing within you. She wants to explore love, but doesn't believe there is a perfect match. She rather thinks that different people touch different pieces of one self and if you would stop looking you never truly find out what you are searching for or how far you can go. Believing this, she was wide awake, curiously looking into the world.

One day the smoke jumper crosses her path. For the first time in her life she feels her and another body in complete perfection. When Stevie meets Lance, there is no past, no future, only the present. They walk the moon together.

He too has multiple relationships. It seems to be the perfect match.

Soon the beautiful concept breaks apart. Nobody wants to share the smoke jumper. All his women want to own him. He decides to commit to one of the women he is seeing, still having affairs, keeping Stevie as a friend.

That's when Stevie falls apart. Panicking. Still sometimes they have sex. Together they meet another woman and all three of them start to fool around with each other. By now Stevie has fallen deeply in love with Lance and is feeling she could not survive without him. Maybe after all there is a perfect match? Lance's relationship with the other collapses, which hardens him up. He stops seeing his other affairs, but his relationship with Stevie and the new girl, Fia, is still alive. Not light and beautiful as Stevie and Lance's relationship in the beginning but brutal at times, hurtful to all. They don't understand why they are going down that road. Finding a much darker space then what both of them had set out to find. Sometimes, rarely though, they still find moments of peace, light and beauty. After the dark spaces these moments seem even more exquisite. One night nearly ends in a catastrophe. The next morning he leaves.

She still feels his presence but she never sees him around anymore. All that is left for Stevie is the memory and her broken heart.

To be healed Stevie has sex with strangers.

2007-07-11 13:09:00

there is no past, no future, no present. all seems to be happening at the same time. the smoke jumper experience alters my life and my concept of love forever. reflecting about the impossibilities of simultaneousness of love - a simple harmonic motion ???

2007-07-10 13:10:00

I like this quote from atomized!

"In the midst of nature's savagery, human beings sometimes (rarely) succeed in creating small oases warmed by love. Small, exclusive, enclosed spaces governed only by love and subjectivity."

(atomized, page 1O3)

2007-07-01 13:15:00

do u think there is only one perfect match?
and why is it so hard to contain happiness
even though everybody has the best intentions
why do we have to fuck up all the time

of course not just one match
you are too melodramatic

you're the absolute wrong person to be in a relationship w love and sex cut apart

you are too melodramatic
way too melodramatic
said that
it's like you purposefully want to dance on the edge of a knife
well, it's frightening and unhealthy